Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Are you a Redneck Arminian?

You might be a Redneck Arminian if…
  • you hear “Irresistible Grace” and think of your cousin.

  • there is a fiddle accompaniment with Just as I am.

  • your exegesis consists of having 2 Peter 3:9 tattooed on your arm.

  • when you hear “RC” you think of Cola.

  • you think that supralapsarian is a newly breed dog.

  • you possess more Charles Finney books than teeth.

  • when the preacher mentions that we are but lumps of clay, you think of Mud Bogs.

  • you hear someone say Ordo Salutis and think they had too much moonshine.

  • you think “Spurgeon” is something you catch with rod & reel from your brother-in-law’s boat.

  • when you hear the Institutes you think of where many of your relatives live.

  • “The Chief End of Man” is where you end up after “The Fall of Man.”

  • you think that “Limited Atonement” is a single barrel shotgun.

  • you purchase your Dave Hunt books through the Home Shopping Network.

  • when you hear “five points” it reminds you of your average monthly reduction in your driver’s record.

  • you have a bumper sticker on your truck that says, “If there ain’t free will in heaven, I don’t want to go.”

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