most people are dissatisfied with their lives because they have too many good choices.Dave / Barry make some good observations. We have so much and so much in the way of choice / options. And that sometimes stops us from enjoying the present.
huh?
just think it through. if you were to journey around the world you would quickly discover that people who have far less than you are far more content with you. Those who have no hope of ever having "MORE" are much more satisfied than those of us with unlimited opportunity...
the problem is that with more choices comes more comparison. when we start viewing our own experiences through comparitive lenses, we quickly become dissatisfied with what we have...
Barry Schwartz in The Paradox of Choice identifies four ways we compare our experience.
1. comparing the experience to what they hoped it would be
2. comparing the experience to what they expected it to be
3. comparing the experience to other experiences they have had in the past
4. comparing the experience to experiences that others have had.
the more choices we have, the more we compare the possible outcomes. the more outcomes we consider, the more difficult it is to make a choice. often we simply choose not to choose, and then stew about what might have been.
studies show that when given one good option, 66% of people will make a choice, the rest wait.
when given two good choices, only 54% will make a choice, the rest wait.
people are less likely to make any choice if given more than one choice.
learning to say "no" limits our choices, increases our decisions, and ultimately increases our levels of contentment.
About the same time as reading the above article I came across this article on Resurgence by John Piper: Advice to Pastors: How to Help Your People Be More Satisfied in God
Piper ists a number of things that help people move from self-centredness [which is at the heart of discontentment] to contentment.
- Love God will all your heart and soul and mind and strength in the presence of other people. It is contagious.
- Love other people from the power of God's grace. That is, show them the beauty of Christ through his love for them in the way you love them.
- Tell stories about those who were ravished by the beauty and glory of God. It seems that true narratives of peoples' experience with the worth of God are very awakening.
- Describe God's value—his treasure—in lavish terms.
- Teach the people how to pray for the transformation of their own hearts, that is, teach them how to pray with the psalmists, "Incline my heart to Thy testimonies and not to getting gain."
- Model for the people extended meditation and reflection on the word of God. Most people do not know how to take a word or phrase or sentence of scripture, commit it to memory and roll it over again and again in their mind and look at it from different sides and ask many questions about it and apply it to different aspects of their life and think of analogies of it in their mind. But it's precisely in this cogitating that the juices in the fruit begin to flow down and awaken the taste buds of the soul.
- Show the people how to find specific, particular promises in the Bible to savor. When Paul says in Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace in believing . . .", he is pointing out that joy and peace rise up as we trust in God's precious and very great promises. So people need to do more specific searching for promises and then hold them in their minds and dwell on them as they go through the day.
- Pray for your people that their hearts would be softened and made tender and more susceptible to the beauty of Christ.
- Help your people to turn off the television. Few things in our culture are more spiritually numbing than the television. Even the so-called "good" shows are by and large banal and low-minded and anything but cultivating of a rich, deep capacity to enjoy God. And when you add to that the barrage of suggestive advertisements that accompany virtually every program, I do not wonder why so many of our professing Christians are spiritually incapable of experiencing high thoughts and deep emotions.
- Point the people to God-centered biography. The struggles and the triumphs of Christians who have known the glory and greatness of God are very engaging and awakening.
- Show the people how to transpose their joys in natural things into joy in God. Here's what I mean. Even the most joyless person seems to have one or two things in their lives that make them happy. It might be their family. It might be the night sky in the north woods. It might be fishing. Help them to make a transposition, that is, to take the line of music called "joy" in their soul and transpose it up from the natural to the supernatural by an act of faith in God as the one who created the family or the night sky or the fishing. Help them see that all the things that are truly delightful in this world, which awaken pleasures in their hearts, are gifts of God and are reflections of his character and his goodness. If they are capable of delighting in natural things, then by the grace of the Holy Spirit they may be capable of transposing those very joys into a higher key and thus discovering joy in God.
- Call the people for confession and renunciation of plaguing sins that make them feel inauthentic and block true affection for God.
- Teach them about the necessity and value of suffering in the Christian life and how it is not worth comparing to the glory to be revealed.
What I find is that the most helpful things are simply to attend to your own soul and what it is that kindles delight for God in you and then share that with others.
Blessings on you as you perform the high task of mid-wifery in bringing joy in God to birth in your congregation.
- Love God will all your heart and soul and mind and strength in the presence of other people. It is contagious.
- Love other people from the power of God's grace. That is, show them the beauty of Christ through his love for them in the way you love them.
- Tell stories about those who were ravished by the beauty and glory of God. It seems that true narratives of peoples' experience with the worth of God are very awakening.
- Describe God's value—his treasure—in lavish terms.
- Teach the people how to pray for the transformation of their own hearts, that is, teach them how to pray with the psalmists, "Incline my heart to Thy testimonies and not to getting gain."
- Model for the people extended meditation and reflection on the word of God. Most people do not know how to take a word or phrase or sentence of scripture, commit it to memory and roll it over again and again in their mind and look at it from different sides and ask many questions about it and apply it to different aspects of their life and think of analogies of it in their mind. But it's precisely in this cogitating that the juices in the fruit begin to flow down and awaken the taste buds of the soul.
- Show the people how to find specific, particular promises in the Bible to savor. When Paul says in Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace in believing . . .", he is pointing out that joy and peace rise up as we trust in God's precious and very great promises. So people need to do more specific searching for promises and then hold them in their minds and dwell on them as they go through the day.
- Pray for your people that their hearts would be softened and made tender and more susceptible to the beauty of Christ.
- Help your people to turn off the television. Few things in our culture are more spiritually numbing than the television. Even the so-called "good" shows are by and large banal and low-minded and anything but cultivating of a rich, deep capacity to enjoy God. And when you add to that the barrage of suggestive advertisements that accompany virtually every program, I do not wonder why so many of our professing Christians are spiritually incapable of experiencing high thoughts and deep emotions.
- Point the people to God-centered biography. The struggles and the triumphs of Christians who have known the glory and greatness of God are very engaging and awakening.
- Show the people how to transpose their joys in natural things into joy in God. Here's what I mean. Even the most joyless person seems to have one or two things in their lives that make them happy. It might be their family. It might be the night sky in the north woods. It might be fishing. Help them to make a transposition, that is, to take the line of music called "joy" in their soul and transpose it up from the natural to the supernatural by an act of faith in God as the one who created the family or the night sky or the fishing. Help them see that all the things that are truly delightful in this world, which awaken pleasures in their hearts, are gifts of God and are reflections of his character and his goodness. If they are capable of delighting in natural things, then by the grace of the Holy Spirit they may be capable of transposing those very joys into a higher key and thus discovering joy in God.
- Call the people for confession and renunciation of plaguing sins that make them feel inauthentic and block true affection for God.
- Teach them about the necessity and value of suffering in the Christian life and how it is not worth comparing to the glory to be revealed.
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