Friday, April 16, 2010

A Church by Any Other Name

There is a new article in Out of Ur
Have you noticed that church names are getting increasingly strange? Our friend Dennis Baker has. He's been keeping a list of church names in order to document how far we've come from the days of "First Presbyterian" and "Springfield Baptist Church."

The comments in brackets come from the article. I'll just list some of my favourites, you can go check out the rest

2. Revolution (Where only senior pastors get beheaded.)
3. Radiance (Where the female vocalists all glitter like Mariah Carey.)
4. Elevation (U2 songs every bloody Sunday.)
10. Soma (Our pastor knows Greek.)
13. Journey (“Don’t Stop Believing” is our theme song.)
21. Imago Dei (Our pastor knows Latin… well, one phrase anyway.)
22. Corem Deo (Our favorite movie is Dead Poets Society.)
23. Celebration Church (We don’t do funerals.)
24. Passion City (Not to be confused with the adult superstore on I-94.)
26. Paradox (Modernity sucks.)
32. Sojourners (Wait. We didn’t know it was liberal Christian magazine too. Dang.)
36. Warehouse (Where Christians are organized, packaged, and safely stored until the rapture.)
40. Elevate (Our pastor’s pedestal is higher than yours.)
47. Jacob’s Well (Where bachelors hang out to find their future wives.)
50. Awakening (We do early services like nobody else.)
62. The Salvage Yard (Jesus loves white trash.)
65. New Spring (We give away bottled tap water.)
67. New Beginnings (Where we make new resolutions every Sunday and break them on Monday.)
73. Depth (We’re so deep even the poets at the indy coffee shop can’t stand us.)
77. Paradox (Logic is soooo modernity.)
78. 2 Pillars Church (Islam has 5. Christianity is way easier. )
79. Standing Stones (No clapping, hand-raising, or swaying during worship, thank you.)
84. Scum of The Earth (Finally some honesty in advertising.)
85. Guts Church (We’re here to pump [clap] you up!)
90. NorthPointe (Adding an “e” tells everyone we’re sophisticated. We drink lattes.)
102. The Point is to Serve (Where the whole service is announcements.)
107. In-Between (A church for the undecided.)
109. The Orchard (What we tore down to build this facility.)
110. The Fields (What we paved over to build the parking lot.)
115. Spread Church (Cream cheese, strawberry preserves, honey butter…communion is sweet.)
121. Axis (For a generation raised to believe the world revolves around them.)
122. Praxis (We copy everything Willow does.)
123. Cool (All other churches drool.)
125. Immersion (It sounds way cooler than “Baptist.”)

1 comment:

Walking Church said...

Walking Church(can't afford or be bothered by a pew nor a building)