Proverbs 11:13–14 (NIV)
A gossip betrays a confidence,
but a trustworthy person keeps a secret
For lack of guidance a nation falls,
but victory is won through many advisers
Are you a trustworthy person?
I imagine that everyone reading this considers themselves a trustworthy person. We highly estimate our ability to keep the confidences of others. We all know gossips, but we would never consider ourselves to be one. The problem most of us have when it comes to confidentiality is we somehow do not consider it a breach to just tell one other "trustworthy" person.
See how it happens? Next, they tell just one other trustworthy person, and within the span of a day eleven people have been brought into the circle.
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Let's be clear. Telling one other person betrays a confidence, and betraying a confidence makes us a gossip. So why do we do this? Why would I entrust you with information another person asked me to keep confidential? At least two reasons come to mind.
First, something in me wants you to know that I'm in the know. It's a not-so-subtle way of conveying my own sense of self-importance to you.
Second, I want you to know that I trust you implicitly and that you can trust me implicitly. This has a way of spreading rapidly, and the further down the chain from the original source, the easier it is to share with one other person.
Proverbs 11:13-14 contrasts negative speech (gossip, slander) with positive communication (trustworthy confidentiality, wise counsel), highlighting that a talebearer exposes secrets, while a faithful person keeps them, leading to community stability; similarly, a nation without guidance falls, but safety comes from many wise advisors, emphasising integrity in personal and communal decision-making.
Proverbs 6:16-19 tells us that there are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
A trustworthy person has a "faithful spirit," meaning they are reliable, discreet, and can be trusted to keep confidences, protecting others.
So let me ask the question again: Are you a trustworthy person?
PRAYER
Our Father, we want to be worthy of trust. I confess that something broken in me thinks I can gain the trust of one person by betraying the trust of another. Would you reveal that broken place to me and lead me in a way of working through it toward healing? Shape me with the trustworthiness of your Son. It is in his name I pray, amen.
PROMPTS
- Why do people not consider it a breach of confidentiality when they tell one other person whom they consider trustworthy?
- When a friend entrusts you with another person's confidential information, how does that impact the trust you have in your friend?
- How might I become a person of the strictest, most loyal confidentiality? How might I become a person worthy of the confidence of others?
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