Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Are you a
gentle person?
If not, then you are probably a harsh person.
Gentleness is a prerequisite for sustained spiritual growth and development. In “Spirituality and the Gentle Life” Adrian VanKaam writes:
Gentleness is an attitude of letting be, combined with a patient abiding with myself or with the person, task, or problem God calls me to be involved in. This attitude leads to peace and contentment. The gentle person is more free. He can take himself and the world as they are because he feels free to be himself and to let all things be with the same gentility.
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
In previous generations, people would be referred to as gentlemen or gentle ladies.
Gentleness
is the quality of being kind, calm, and considerate. It reflects strength
under control.
Paul calls it an aspect of the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5:22-23
People who are gentle, are at home with themselves, and people who are at home with themselves have a way of helping others be more at home with themselves. Gentleness does not mean softness. It is seen more clearly in the way they express firmness.
Angry people
carry harshness.
Gentle people
carry peace.
Truth be told,
we are all a mix of both.
A little
further down in Proverbs 15 we read this:
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
but the one who is patient calms a quarrel (15:8).
Gentleness does
not mean conflict avoidance.
It actually shows up in the way one engages conflict. The best way to tell if I am a gentle person is not so much to observe me in my own conflicts but to watch me in the midst of conflicts between other people. Do I tend to contribute to a conflict by taking a side and escalating it or do I tend to look for ways to defuse the conflict?
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Finally, we need to remember that gentleness is not a personality trait. It is a fruit of the Spirit. We can't let ourselves off the hook by saying it's not our type. It's actually a part of new life in Christ.
PRAYER
Our Father, teach me your way of gentleness. Reveal your own gentle bearing toward me. Free me to become more gentle with myself and so treat other people. I pray in the name of Jesus, amen.
PROMPTS
- Who do you
think of as being gentle people?
Be careful not to mistake passivity for gentleness. - What would it look like for me to become more gentle with myself and not so harsh?
- How might I become mindful to invite the Holy Spirit to bring the fruit of gentleness into my everyday life?
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