Friday, April 21, 2006

Golf Rule Book Changes

Some of you are at the stage of life [or you are a Toronto Maple Leaf] where you might benefit from some of these rule changes [of course, I'm not there yet, although my calf injury will keep me off the links for a while. & this is the year I finally got a new set of clubs for Christmas - the $7.00 garage sale specials are history!]

(only applies to Seniors)

RULE 1.a. A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for uncontrollable mechanical phenomena.

RULE 2.d.6(b) A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.

RULE 3.b.3(g) There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging him or herself with a penalty.

RULE 4 (7a) If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.

RULE 5. Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.

RULE 6.a.9(k) There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds." If penny-pinching golf club owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

RULE 7.g.15(z) There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. That they do not is a technical problem that manufacturers have to correct. Senior Golfers should not be punished for manufacturer’s shortcomings.

RULE 8.d.19(q) There is no penalty for a ball going into a canyon on desert courses. This is a technical problem and when the golf manufactures retire they will correct this manufacturing defect.

RULE 9.k.9(s) Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new clubs, balls, shoes etc. Since this is financially impractical for the average Senior Golfer, a stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.

Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes.

This comes courtesy of the the daily email funnies from MikeysFunnies.

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