Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.
Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
“What did Moses command you?” he replied.
They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ [Genesis 1:27] ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ [Genesis 2:24] So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
We’ve reading through the Gospel of Mark. Mark is trying to get everyone to meet Jesus and understand he is God come to earth. In this section, Jesus is being asked or grilled about what God teaches regarding marriage. Jesus demonstrates that he, as the author of the Law, understands far beyond his questioners.
Anytime we read the Gospel, or indeed the New Testament, in sequence, we will come across some difficult topics. Today we come across Jesus’ teaching about divorce.
Divorce is a difficult topic; we all know people who are divorced, maybe you are divorced, and at times the Church hasn’t been at its best in handling divorce (treating it as if it is almost unforgivable).
Jesus has left where he was at the end of Mark 9 (Capernaum) and is now in the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.
And again the crowds gather around him; and, as was his custom, he again taught them.
So, Jesus is once again in the midst of teaching, serving, ministering to people, and some Pharisees came,
They came not to learn or even dialogue with him, no, they came to test him.
Context is important.
Here we must understand that Jesus’ teaching on divorce is not to some people who have been divorced, or people who are struggling with their marriage, it isn’t even a topic that Jesus has chosen. No, they have come to test him, even embarrass him in front of a crowd, and so they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
What kind of a test is this question?
Is it to see if Jesus knows the Torah? The answer is NO! Of course Jesus knows the Torah. What is going on here is that Jesus’ is on the rise, people are beginning to see him as the Messiah, possibly the new king of Israel. And there currently is a king in Israel – King Herod. This is important, because being a Pharisee came with some important political, and therefore economic, connections.
King Herod had taken his brother Philip’s, wife. John the Baptist had a few things to say about Herod’s actions (right in this same geographic area), and it cost him his head!
The Pharisees have come to ask Jesus what he thinks about divorce in order to get him into trouble.
Jesus does what he usually does in these situations – He asks them a question: “What did Moses command you?”
In other words, “Why are you asking me what is lawful, don’t you have and know the Word of God?”
They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.”
Now before we get into Jesus’ response, let’s remember the context. Moses, in Deuteronomy 24, discusses giving a divorce. Jesus does not say, "Moses was wrong." Jesus knows what the Bible says, and that unfortunately, divorce happens, and that God’s Word addresses it.
But then Jesus gives the bigger picture: “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you."
Why do people get divorced? There are many reasons, and the point of this post is not to describe all of them.
- For some, it is because they are in unsafe or abusive relationships.
- For others, it is because people grow cold towards one another.
- Or people grow tired.
- Or… you fill in the blank.
- Many times people don’t tend to the marriage, and it withers. Jesus describes this as “hard hearts.”
We know this. Jesus’ words to this point are hard to hear because he is telling us what we know to be true. And sometimes the truth is hard to hear.
Jesus then describes God’s ideal – what God intended.
“[F]rom the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
What has Jesus just done? He has described the way God designed the world.
Just like God designed us not to kill each other, not to lie to each other, not to be jealous of each other – God designed couple to be together as husband and wife for life.
The challenge for us at this point is when we fail – and that challenge gets heightened by Jesus’ next words.
Jesus finds himself alone with his disciples and they ask him again about this situation.
Jesus tells his disciples “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
What is Jesus doing?
- Is he making people who are divorced feel guilty?
- I don’t think so; Jesus isn’t about piling on guilt.
To help us understand, consider what Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-28.
"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Or earlier in what we call the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:21-22).
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.
Looking at another “lustfully” is adultery, getting angry with someone is comparable to murder?
Jesus wants to teach us that issues caused by “hard heartedness” lead us away from God’s design for his world and his people. We often use the word "sin" to describe this.
Sin is when we conduct ourselves in ways contrary to God’s designs.
Does that make sense?
So, here is a question: if you “lust after someone in your mind” or if “you get angry” – do we as disciples of Jesus, count those sins the same as divorce?
My observation is that because the pain of divorce is so real, we, somehow “count it worse”.
God views all sin as bad. It is an offence against Him. I don’t think he has a scale. There is a bigger issue here. It is how we respond when we sin.
In my experience I see people do one of two things:
- One path is that we “justify” why it was OK to get divorced. Please don’t misunderstand me. There may be good reasons for a divorce, but I doubt anyone stood at the before an officiant and family and friends on the day of their marriage with the goal of getting divorced.
That day, God’s goal, God’s design, wasn’t divorce either. And when it happens – whether the person needs to escape from the marriage or not – when it happens, it is contrary to God’s design.
The point of that last sentence is to remind us that when we do something that is contrary to God’s design, we need to ask God to help us and forgive us, we don’t try to justify it. - The second path we take (sometimes this one follows the first) is that we stay away from God. Over the years because of the public nature of divorce, because of the pain of divorce, and because of the Church’s treatment of people who go through divorce – because of all those things – and more – people feel as if divorce is unforgivable.
They feel shame.
Sometimes our shame keeps us away at a time when our heavenly Father says “come, come all to me who are heavy laden.” When we fall down, when divorce happens, we should run toward God and not away.
Let me try and “get this right” from the Church’s perspective.
Divorce isn’t God’s design – when we live contrary to God’s design, we will experience pain, pain that we may have inflected on ourselves, or received from another.
But Divorce isn’t the end.
What do we do when we find ourselves contrary to God’s design? We go to God and say we are sorry, we seek his forgiveness, knowing that he forgives and heals.
Jesus’ teaching on divorce is hard, but so is life! Life is hard and Jesus want us to experience it the best possible way – and the best way is by walking in God’s ways. When we follow his ways, life, while not always easy, can be wonderful. When we don’t follow his commands, the best way to live, is to tell Him you are sorry.
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