You might be a Redneck Calvinist

You might be a Redneck Calvinist if…

• the church you attend is not seeker-friendly, but cigar-friendly.


• you hear “Free Will,” and think about bailing out your cousin “Will” in jail.


• your dad uses the double barrel shotgun for his own “effectual calling.”


• you think that an Amyrauldian is road kill.


• BHT means Barbeque Hogs Tonight.


• the only overalls you will buy are made by Calvin.


• you compliment your wife with, “God has ordained your voice to sound like a chainsaw.”


• your church has justified to include the banjo and harmonica under the Regulative Principle.


• your church refuses to call the church picnic a Potluck.


• you have the five solas tattooed on your arm.