10 Affirmations for the Permanently Crabby

From Ian's Messy Desk comes this wonderful list:

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
2. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.
3. I honour my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
4. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
5. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
6. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”
7. Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step—blaming my parents.
8. I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.
9. Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
10. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.