Will Smith & Chris Rock at the Oscar's

Last night at the Oscars Chris Rock made a joke about Jada Pinkett-Smith being in “G.I. Jane” because of her bald head. She’s spoken openly about having a hair loss condition. Will Smith ran on stage, slapped Rock, and then screamed twice at the top of his lungs “KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT OF YOUR F-NG MOUTH.”

A few observations:

• Chris Rock was wrong to make fun of a physical condition. Not that he is the first to do so. In fact, sadly, it’s quite “normal” in our western world – from a former president down to playground comments.
• Violence is not the answer. I get defending your family. But violence is not the way. I also get that it must be tough having to put up with so much negativity that is said to and about you, but to slap someone then talk about love is so incongruent. Violence is never proof of love.
• Learn to apologise.
  A few minutes after the above incident, Will Smith won the Oscar for best actor. He said: “I want to apologize to the Academy. I want to apologize to all my fellow nominees. This is a beautiful moment and I’m not crying for winning an award. It’s not about winning an award for me. It’s about being able to shine a light on all of the people. Tim and Trevor and Zack and Saniyya and Demi and Aunjanue and the entire cast and crew of ‘King Richard,’ Venus and Serena, the entire Williams family. Art imitates life. I look like the crazy father, just like they said about Richard Williams.”
  The one person he didn’t apologise to, was the one he needed to apologise to – Chris Rock. Yes, Chris needs to apologize to Jada and Will, but it has to begin with someone.
• Don’t mock people with a disability. Don’t use violence to solve your issues. Take responsibility for your words & actions. Don’t blame the devil for your demons. Say sorry to those you hurt. Be accountable. Be humble. Be honest. Do the work. Go to therapy.
• There is much leading up to this moment. Both in Chris Rock’s and Will Smith’s backgrounds. There is pain and hurt and abuse. But those are not excuses for wrong words and wrong actions. As the Franciscan monk, Richard Rohr has said “If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it.”

But what really bothers me this morning, is Christians defending Will Smith. 

• It shows that we are out of step with the Jesus way. Chris Rock’s “joke” was of poor taste, and even more so if he knew Jada has a medical condition – but how can we condone using violence to show we disagree with something?
• We teach our children on the playground: “Yes she/he hurt your feelings by saying you’re an idiot but we don’t respond by kicking her/him in the shins.” And yet we see that here. With adults. And we see adults defending Will Smith. I am not seeking to condemn Smith – we all sin and we all must repent. I hope grace and forgiveness abounds. But to defend Smith as some have done and thrown anything relating to Jesus into the mix – makes me wonder whether we in fact read the same scripture and believe in the same God?
• It’s another example of how normalizing casual violence against another human being plays out in our world.
• bell hooks wrote: “The fact that men often mix being caring and being violent has made it hard for everyone in our culture to face the extent to which male violence stands in the way of males’ giving and receiving love.” And while that is primarily about emotional abuse, ‘an ongoing process in which one individual systemically diminishes and destroys the inner self of another’ there are so many different forms and layers of violence going on in this entire scene. 
• Will Smith slaps someone on stage, wins the Oscar, and says: “I’ve been called to be a river of love.” And despite the allusion to John’s gospel, Will Smith redefined love to mean something totally different than what Jesus said.

Will Smith said that Denzel Washington told him; “At your highest moment, be careful. That’s when the devil comes for you.” Those are wise words. I hope you listen and respond to them